Losing somebody in your family is a painful affair. It takes its toll on everybody involved, but not least the children that have known no different to their lives. Change like this can cause a huge impact on them, as they will not know how to cope with it; other challenges that they have faced in their lives they will have learned to overcome, but death is not something that comes along every day, and especially not of a family member. Learning how to cope together with grief is a good way to set you up for an easier time ahead – although it may not seem like it at all.
Children are inquisitive, and they will ask questions. Prepare yourself for anything that they may throw at you. Morbid curiosity may get the better of them, and they will want to know things like the cause of death and what happens to the body after you die; religion may play a big part in this, and if you have your own personal beliefs that you would like to impart then now is a good time to introduce them. Make sure that you listen to your child, as it can be a fearful time for them.
Relive the Memories
Just because somebody has gone doesn’t mean that you have to forget about them. This can be one of the most scary things for children who don’t know any better; memories becoming forgotten, arbitrary thoughts that are suppressed for fear of bringing out the sadness in people. Explain that tears can be from joy and happiness at remembering times when they recollect them, but that it’s also okay to be sad. Focus on the fond times that they had with their family, no matter how big or small; if they are telling you it, it is important to them.
Sort Everything Out
In very few cases, the death of a family member can bring certain consequences with it for families. You may want to research some family law solicitors in your local area who advise you on any difficulties you may have, whether it be due to division of assets or finances regarding the funeral arrangements i.e. who is responsible to pay for them. It can be quite a stressful and tricky business, so don’t bring your child into it – especially not if it is putting you in a worse mood than you would already be in.
Planning the Future
There is life ahead of death, but something as big as this can bring a sudden halt to any plans you had and disrupt your normal routine. Children thrive off routine, so make sure that they know things will be going back to normal as soon as they can. Give them something to look forward to in the future to remind them that things are okay; although they certainly may have helped, you don’t need those who have passed around you to have a good time.